This week I’m so pleased to welcome Wilder Coomb (pronounced Wil-dur, Coom) to the blog. Wilder is the prison chief of Lachlas (Lock-LAHs) Prison in northern Iormere (E-or-meer). Welcome, Wilder!
RLM: [clears throat] Ummm… What do you feel most proud of?
WC: The fact that I run a tight prison with no nonsense.
RLM: Could you expand on that a bit?
RLM: Okaaay. Next question. If you could keep only 5 possessions what would they be?
WC: My weapon belt.
RLM: And the other four?
WC: That’s it.
RLM: Uh, if you’re not feeling well, we can postpone this.
WC: I am in perfect health.
RLM: All righty then. How do you spend your free time?
WC: I make frequent tours around the prison to check that all is as it should be. I pray each night before sleep. And each morning upon waking.
RLM: What else?
WC: [sighs] I’ve occasionally enjoyed a good book on history or playing dice with my men.
RLM: Why did you choose to become the prison chief at Lachlas?
WC: “Choose” is not the word I would use. I was assigned here after the Iormere military decommissioned me from active service.
RLM: If you could choose another profession what would it be?
WC: Why do you wish to know?
RLM: Well, it’s an interview.
WC: For what? Who sent you to ask me these invasive questions?
RLM: I… I sent myself.
WC: And who are you?
RLM: I created you.
WC: Are you claiming to be one of the Three Sisters?
RLM: No I-
WC: Then what do you mean you ‘created’ me?
RLM: Well, I created this whole world. Lachlas, Iormere, everything.
WC: [long pause] Foss! Get the boys. We’ve got a wild one.
RLM: No, stay away from me. No! No! N-