Dear We Need to Talk About Kevin…

FICTION – Shriver, Lionel

– Spawning

– What not to read while pregnant

– School violence

– Prosthetic eyeballs

Dear We Need to Talk about Kevin,

I’m not sure either of us got a fair shake during our time together. Look, I was what, seven months pregnant when we indulged in our little rendezvous? I mean, you are probably the WORST book for a pregnant woman to read. Not only are preggos notoriously emotional and moody, but you’re about the child from hell. I mean, way to freak the crap out of someone!

Kevin is basically Satan’s spawn from the time he’s in utero and his devilish proclivities culminate in devastating travesty.  So, as my little stranger is rolling around inside me, I’m reading about a kid who moves from petty acts of sabotage designed to antagonize his mother to outright violence against members of his family.

Needless to say, your gorgeous writing and unique storytelling style did little to soften the nerve-wracking experience of turning your pages. Crying out loud, almost nine years later and I STILL feel traumatized by your story!

So, although I don’t regret reading you, I can’t say that you’re one of my favorite books. Or that spending time with you was a pleasure. You’re not and it wasn’t. Our brief encounter was powerful, unforgettable, terrifying.

But that could have been just the hormones. I’m too scared to re-read you and find out.

With shaking hands,